Voyage through life

我要写小说，我是认真的。

2011-11-25T05:36:00.001-08:00

Too many dreams to chase

2011-10-10T02:33:00.000-07:00

Anyong! =)

It's been such a long time since my last post.

Life goes on. Things change. But I don't.

Still dreaming in my own sweet world, sometimes I wonder whether I can get what I want in the very end.

Yes?

30++ days to SPM. I don't know why but I think I've become more and more 看得开. ( Well, I just don't know which word in English best expresses this)

Is it a good change?

"Too many dreams to chase. "

Study in UK and be a lawyer. I think so far this would be the best choice for me and my family. Yes, I love debate. But is a debater definitely a good lawyer? I don't know. Acquaintances ask me why I want to be a lawyer. " To protect human rights...?" Oh......

What if I just don't get any scholarship to study in UK? I've thought of studying in Hong Kong. But, WHO KNOWS?

Taiwan is on my list, too. But in this case law is definitely not my first choice. Life seems great studying in Taiwan University.

Deep in me, I know. If I'm given a chance to simply choose any course ( just forget about the pay after graduating ), I would choose this---------------------------- MASS　COMMUNICATION.

Movie production seems very interesting to me. As well as writing script!

Got my forecast results this morning. All A+'s except Biology. Ohhhh.....Feel like I've never make my full efforts in the exams.

Well, no more trial for me. SPM is just around the corner. Still, music must accompany me during the lonely nights of studying.

Lastly, a song is added to my playlist here. " In My Place" by Coldplay, a song that really touches my heart when clavicle-scapula-humerus-ulna-radius all those stuffs flying in my head.

P/S: Glad to receive an email from my host parents with their nice photos taken in Hawaii!!!!! =)

P/S: Scholarships..... I'm waiting for your email my dear colleges!!!

P/S: " You've Fallen For Me " is great!!!!!!

P/S: NO MORE P/S's....!!!

他们 ( 或，我们)

2011-05-19T10:56:00.000-07:00

她是Viatrix。

他是Woo Young。

请多多指教。 <3

纪念品 by 林宥嘉

2011-05-19T10:33:00.000-07:00

床单用来记得昏迷

夹克用来记得零距离

口罩用来记得叹息

什么让我记得爱过妳

宝贝的沦为垃圾

我丢弃的却被哪个珍惜捧着

舍不得不如记得

总该记得什么别说妳快忘了我

只好凭身外物证明妳浪费过

让我一生不算白活喔

过去怎么过圆的方的尖的

一件件都不可错过再逐一抚摸

一件件百货那么多

堆积如山坡这当中是否有妳有我喔

还有什么要送我喔

盆栽用来记得雾气

手套用来记得雷阵雨

杯具用来记得悲剧　

什么让我记得错过妳

宝贝的沦为垃圾

我丢弃的却被哪个珍惜捧着

舍不得不如记得

总该记得什么别说妳快忘了我

只好凭身外物证明妳浪费过　

让我一生不算白活喔

过去怎么过圆的方的尖的

一件件都不可错过再逐一抚摸

一件件百货那么多　

堆积如山坡这当中是否有妳有我喔

还有什么要送我还想收到什么

纪念品越来越多家里空间不多就装进脑膜喔

还想记得什么连我都快忘了我

拾荒的路途中翻出一点线索

拼凑一个昨天的我喔

过去怎么过红的黄的灰的

一件件怀念里复活气味和轮廓

一件件百货那么多

消失如泡沫这当中是否少了什么喔

还有什么要送我喔 ~~~~

林宥嘉的专辑终于发行了。

用了一个晚上的时间将整张专辑的歌曲听完，当下的感觉是

痛快。

在那之前先听了“想自由”就疯狂地爱上，一听就中毒无法自拔每天听上几十遍的疯狂。

曾经期待第二首“说谎”。

它不像。

相对于“说谎”的婉转隐喻，“想自由”像一篇内心真实的剖白。

它不一样。

因为岁月流失了，宥嘉变了，我们也变了。

而没有人能告诉我们改变是好是坏。

因为改变只是改变。

而关于明天我们一无所知。（而关于自己我们一无所知。）

“想自由”，对一个中五生来说是个很缥缈的梦想。

莫名地喜欢“纪念品”的歌词。

一起来期待，这“美妙生活”。

“ 或许只有你懂得我所以你没逃脱。”

The Days

2011-05-19T10:12:00.000-07:00

" I don't want another pretty face. I don't want just anyone to hold. I don't want my love to go to waste. I want you and your beautiful soul. "

It's " Beautiful Soul" by Jesse McCartney. Awesome one. It's not new, ( or should I just say old--whatever---) , though.

Friend from NZ shared its mv on Facebook. ( Add me: Viatrix Vetra) " Can't stop singing the whole day..." He commented. And that's true, dude!

So just to introduce a song here.

Well, it's been a long time since my last post. ( Just a mv ? LOL )

Viatrix is back.

Or to be more precise, Viatrix Jang or Viatrix Jung.

It's definitely not typing error, guys.

Jang when my hubby is Woo Young from 2pm.

Jung when my hubby is Yong Hwa from CN Blue.

And that's so sweet. =)

Fell in love with Kpop. The Koreans are soooooo cute and hot. And apparently good-looking and talented!

Busy posting links on FB recently caz I'm crazy in love with the little Korean cuties.

So,

Life goes on without much change.

Things turn good when it comes to Kpop but surely become extremely bad when it comes to school stuff.

Always.

AND IT'S SAD.

What can I do to make it real mine?

20110326 超級偶像 8.吳海文:You and I both

2011-04-15T02:44:00.000-07:00

20110409 超級偶像 11.吳海文:All I need is you

2011-04-13T23:46:00.000-07:00

寂寞的时候就放烟花吧。

2010-12-31T10:13:00.000-08:00

寂寞的时候就放烟花吧。

旅行的意义

2010-12-31T09:14:00.000-08:00

从日本回来后好像应该写一些类似游记的东西。

什么时候在哪里做什么。（但我真的不是出门会随身带支笔跟团走到一半会说等等先让我记录一下到达的时间好吗的个性。)

偏偏没有时间线路不好电脑不听话照片很难上载......

好吧，我真的很懒。

而且想想我好像也没有必要为了写而写。

没有必要为了纪念自己到过日本就写一篇不像样的游记来污染自己的部落格。

反而想要写这个东西。

这个“旅行的意义”。

今天在车上听到这首歌，不是第一次但也没有很熟。

问得好啊，这旅行的意义。

“离开我就是旅行的意义。”

去过荷兰，英国，法国，日本。目前最想去的是意大利。最有可能的下一次出国是台湾。

那对我来说什么是旅行的意义..?

和自己逃跑吧。

远离最熟悉的环境也许是认清自己一种很好的方式。

认清。

又或者更迷惑。

尤其是在特别的日子，在跨年的这一天，真的很想逃跑啊。

逃到一个我自己也不知道的地方迎接新的一年，感觉很棒对吧。

但还是找一个看得到烟花的地方吧。

Japan, here I come

2010-11-30T03:10:00.000-08:00

I'm going to Japan through an exchange programme.

But I don't even know who my host family is.

Perhaps it is a surprise..? Gosh.

I'm getting frustrared with packing. And my THREE bags are officially full..!

Yeah. Gonna go Japan with my new phone.

N8. Or I call him, 小绿..

His friends are 小帅 my handsome teddy, 小鳄 my cute crocodile-looked pencil case....

Haha. Just ignore it.

Yeah. I'm going to an english-speaking world again.

And I don't really like this actually.

Whatever.

Wish me luck! I wanna get Tokyo or Osaka. I wanna meet 工腾新一 and 服部平次!

I think that's all.

Well, I admit. I write this because I have a little bit more to reach my broadband limit. Haha. So just use it here!

Sweetest goodbye..!

Will be back on 15th! =)

倪安東 - Sorry That I Loved You [ 高畫質official 官方MV ]

2010-11-19T05:05:00.000-08:00

Silent All These Years

2010-11-09T07:04:00.000-08:00

A new song was added here.

" Silent all these years " by Tori Amos. A song that fills me up when I'm looking for something unreachable. A song that is too good to be here. Now.

A truly brilliant one.

Actually I've been listening to Stephanie Sun's version since I discovered it in her old album. I know it is Tori Amos's. I know it is awesome. But I don't know the story.

Until I finally search for it.

Hmm... I don't think I'm going to tell you here. maybe you can search it yourself if you want.

" Excuse me, but can I be you for a while? "

Life doesn't go well. Everything doesn't go as it should. Everyone doesn't stand at where he should be.

Everything is a mess.

And a completely chaotic mind.

" Excuse me, but can I be you for a while? "

It's not easy for me to face this.

What would you choose between your achievement and your principle...?

I DON'T KNOW.

Silent all these years.

The only thing I'm sure is that this song really calms my mind.

SILENT.

" But baby don't look up. The sky is falling. "

It's like all the things that you believe in suddenly turn into a thousand lies.

Something like this. What the hell.

I can see my world colliding. Yeah. And I'm still waiting here.

Baby don't look up.

THE SKY IS FALLING ......

我不要考试！

2010-10-19T06:57:00.000-07:00

很久没有post东西了。

上一篇还很高调地说要好好准备考试了。

结果...?

还是老样子。

还是一样过着很颓废很享受的日子。

没有去学校的日子，窝在家里睡得很晚。原本是要念书的，但不小心又让我发现了“读心神探”的DVD，结果又很没用的看完了一遍。

很没用的我。

有没有一种药可以让人吃了比较有自制能力啊...?

恩，最近看了星光七，水准很高噢，在这里推推一下。特喜欢孙晓亮的“爱如潮水”，大家去听听看吧！

恩，最近看完了“泡沫之夏", 很不错的偶像剧，和一般台湾偶像剧不太一样。而且自从看了这部戏后，本人疯狂爱上洛熙。黄晓明真的演得太好啦！

恩，刚才去看医生时发现了一间看起来很棒的餐馆。卖pizza的，里面有很大的烤炉，一定要去吃吃看。

恩，这两天终于有了点进展，读了一点点Chemistry。之前每次考试都拿A哦，呵呵，希望这次也没问题。这些较ok的科目一定不能输啊...! 我还没放弃当化验师的愿望啊，呵呵。

恩，我现在好像应该在读书噢。算了吧，当作庆祝laptop平安出院，放自己一天假吧！

Make It Mine

2010-09-12T01:00:00.000-07:00

" Wake up everyone. How can you sleep at a time like this. Unless the dreamer is the real you."

I've just edited my playlist here.

"Make It Mine" by Jason Mraz. A really brilliant one.

Yup, I'm gonna make it mine. After these days and days. Wake up at 1pm everyday but it's gonna come to the end. Holidays are coming to the end but my journey is going to start soon.

Time is running out.

I have to rush. To make it real mine.

I don't care about the prats, I don't care about what they think.

I've found myself and I'll be myself.

AND I'LL MAKE IT MINE.

I won't let you down anymore and I promise that I'll try really hard for it.

Shut down my laptop and turn off the CD player.

I'm gonna spread my wings and fly.

Top 3 . Wish me luck everyone.

P/S: Nice trumpet for the song. ^ ^

" And I'm gonna make it mine. "

关于《线人》

2010-09-11T23:59:00.000-07:00

我愿意作你的线人，因为我相信你。

其实这部电影上映很久了，只是拖到现在才看。

刚才去搜寻了一下关于这部电影的影评。评论很多，读得很入神，写得很精准。

本来也想长篇大论一番的，但自知才疏学浅，因此只想以一个从小看香港警匪片看到大的年轻影迷的身份，来写一点关于这部电影的一点感想。

《线人》

直接说了吧，这真是一部很棒的电影。

我从小最喜欢看香港警匪片，就因为不仅剧情刺激，剧中刻画的角色性格，描写的人性纠葛更是精彩。而《线人》可以说是近几年所看最为喜欢的一部。

撇开一些剧情的漏洞（结局为什么李Sir没有枪），《线人》的故事线简直就是完美，当主角们被现实蹂躏得不成人形时，观众们也会为此发出一声叹息。

不想说得太详细，毕竟还是希望大家可以亲自观赏这部电影。

一直很喜欢剧中这些演员。张家辉，谢霆锋和桂纶镁，都在剧中有很好的表现，两位男主角影帝级的演技自然毋庸置疑，而这次让我眼前一亮的，是气质女星桂纶镁。

剧中她与细鬼的感情无疑是个悲剧。那种感觉，怎么说，很难形容。同是天涯沦落人吧。灰人。

灰人。

在网上一篇影评看到这个词，当下真的觉得作者形容得太贴切了。

他们，都是灰人。

陷于情义与利益之间，在黑与白的中间线。

再引用一句：“他们都是背叛者与被背叛者。”

细鬼因飙车入狱，出狱后为了救妹妹而答应李Sir当警方的线人。他坏吗？抽烟，粗俗，飙车，打架...... 但他真的坏吗？为了救自己的亲人，明知会有性命危险还不惜一切潜伏于黑帮中。

而他在最错误的时候与她重逢。

他其实可以不管她。让她被华天的人杀死吧，反正她生无可恋。让她被警方抓走吧，反正她应该付出代价。

但他没有。

为了救她，他宁愿牺牲自己。为的是什么？那一分与自己的相似？抑或他们之间的情感？...那已经不重要。

最后当细鬼在荒废的教室中被人活活打死。

他睁大双眼死不瞑目也要看着她平安逃走，身躯被夹在门口的惨状。

李Sir不顾上头命令把细鬼要的一百万拿来，却看到细鬼尸体的无奈。（他一直对细鬼说：“你要的钱，我拿来了。” 当下无限感触非笔墨能形容。）

最感动的时候，其实有很多。

细鬼在帮黑帮抢劫银行时，偷偷拿走了她一直想要的那枚戒指。

李Sir抱着老婆的尸体，在马路上大哭的样子。回忆一幕幕播放，而“月亮代表我的心”适时响起。（李Sir的故事十分坎坷，但是这里不提了。）

而最后李Sir被拷上手铐，一排电灯慢慢被熄掉的那一幕，也是我最感触的时候。

电影完了，生活还要继续。是我入戏太深，还是剧情太符合生活？...

已经没有答案。

突然好想你，好想再唱一首歌给你

2010-09-06T21:11:00.001-07:00

http://http//www.youtube.com/watch?v=dyMsVa06xC0

好想再唱一首歌给你。

恐惧,这任性的你

2010-09-01T03:17:00.000-07:00

我惧怕我自己。

人在什么情况下会感到恐惧?

在觉得自己受到威胁的时候吧。这应该是目前可以想到最贴切的形容了。

（连呼吸都觉得害怕的程度。）

恐惧，比害怕还害怕，乘上十倍的害怕。

虽然外表看不出来，但其实是在颤抖的。（不止是身体也是心。）

不喜欢承认自己其实也有很胆小的时候这件事。

我不怕鬼，我怕人。

人。

那种说翻脸就翻脸，上一秒嬉皮笑脸下一秒狂风暴雨的人。（你是那样的任性。）

感觉很不安定。

（说变就变的真的是人与人之间的情感？）

恐惧。

错的是恐惧你的我还是让我恐惧你的你？

也许我们都没有错。

错在恐惧这东西吧。我如是说。

他们

2010-08-19T09:38:00.000-07:00

最帅的工藤新一。

和最有才华的严爵。

敏感

2010-08-19T09:17:00.000-07:00

不想再看到你泛白的嘴唇了。

最近的生活过得不错。

撇开头发被剪不谈，还真是过了一段美好的时光。呵呵。

今天淋了点雨，有点发烧的迹象，生物补习时还真不是普通的难受。感觉一股热气冲向头部，整张脸都红红烫烫的。

一回到家马上吞了两颗退烧药。（我不喜欢生病，尤其是在不能请假的周末。）

一直以来对雨很敏感。

所以不能像电影情节一样心情不好就跑到外面淋雨。

呵呵。但是我还是喜欢雨天的。

Bear 说我淋到酸雨。（地球越来越危险了。）

好吧，其实若不是今天一定要出队表演，我就不会淋到雨了，一切都不是我的错。

我只是错在对眼泪比较敏感而已。

不管是天空的，

或是你的。

现实版Ironic

2010-08-12T08:29:00.000-07:00

感慨。

人生真的很ironic。

一直很喜欢这一段歌词：“Well, life has a funny way of sneaking up on you when you think everything's okay and everything's going right. And life has a funny way of helping you out when you think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up in your face. "

从来没有想过我会是那幸运的千分之一百，然后百分之五十六。

Life has a funny way of helping you out when you think everything's gone wrong.

有时侯人真的不能有太多欲望。是你的就是你的，不是你的就不是你的。

好吧，我承认我真的很幸运。

“I was selected for the AFS Programme! I'm going to Japan! ”

出乎意料。

惊喜，却真实。

想当初我真的抱着一种“不可能是我”的心态。（说真的，我在selection camp 真的很爱耍自闭。呵呵。而事实上我是很友善的。）

只记得面试时唱了一首马来歌曲，然后他们说我唱歌很好听。呵呵。

也记得他们问了很多问题，而我随机回答。

但当他们问到：" Current issue?" 时，还是有点被吓倒口哑哑了。结果乱掰乱扯，不知道说了什么。（当时竟然连最热门的“废除UPSR和PMR”都忘得一干二净，愧当国会式辩手。）

就这样糊里糊涂结束了面试，就这样匆匆忙忙离开了营地，就这样莫名其妙收到了录取信。

好吧，真的感谢所有人。

谢谢你们选择了我。

我真的很珍惜。

Ironic by Alanis Morissette

2010-07-21T04:03:00.000-07:00

An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day
It's a black fly in your Chardonnay
It's a death row pardon two minutes too late
And isn't it ironic... don't you think
It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... it figures
Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought"Well isn't this nice..."
And isn't it ironic... don't you think
It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... it figures
Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think everything's okay and everything's going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up
In your faceA traffic jam when you're already late
A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
It's meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn't it ironic...don't you think
A little too ironic...and, yeah, I really do think...
It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... it figures
Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
Life has a funny, funny way of helping you out
Helping you out

" Isn't it ironic...?"

好久不见

2010-07-21T03:09:00.000-07:00

“好想开口问你怎么了，但你的眼神告诉我，我们只是陌生人。”

开始觉得人与人之间的关系真的很奇妙。前一秒的陌生人，在短暂的相处后变成朋友。而上一秒的朋友，也可以在转瞬间变成陌生人。

烦。

只能说很多事情都在预料之外。

你想的，不一定是对的。你紧握的，未必是你的。

Fine.

很怪。你不应该是这样的人。（或许我根本就不认识你？）

应该就这样算了吧。画下句号再见也不用说转过身就该走了吧。

也许我们注定错过？

无止境的错过。

很怪，明明近在眼前却像透明物体没有交集。

我没有什么想法，不是想再进一步，没有想过要怎样。只是，想保持友善的关系而已。至少，维

持之前的关系就好。

既然没有那个想法，何必就这样顺水推舟地配合演出？

我知道我没有，你清楚你没有，是谁想太多？

烦。

很怪。那天你对我笑的时候，好想对你说声……

好久不见。

真的，好久不见了。

（可笑吗？我也这么觉得。）

“虽然，那么近。”

Stories

2010-06-01T01:16:00.000-07:00

Your story is not my story......

Today's story.

I wish to get my English paper tomorrow. Somehow it seems to be impossible now.

As we'll be having a " Damn IQ Game" tomorrow...! What a brilliant idea!

Childish like hell.

Not that I mind the mark so much. I miss my story.

I MISS MY STORY.

It's Khalil's story but with the ending of Mikhail's.

What?!

Well, I don't expect you to know this.

P/S: Sorry to Mr L. Again, I killed my guitar teacher in my story.

"I would never forget the day we bid our goodbyes and walked our separate ways..."

Lost

2010-06-01T01:14:00.000-07:00

It's hard to believe that I had it. Really.

I lost something. And I hate the feeling of losing......

Life goes on

2010-05-05T03:36:00.000-07:00

Time flies, without wings.

Everything doesn't go as it should.

I can't hold what I am supposed to. Everything's so wrong and I feel that the whole world of mine is totally out of my control.

What I can do is just standing here, watching all things I own leaving me.

Well, not all. A girl can't express herself well with a completely chaotic mind.

I should have a rest, seriously.

Life goes on, without you.

Destiny

2010-05-05T03:01:00.000-07:00

I believe that, once you join a group and accidentally, yes I mean accidentally, drop your tears for it, then you'll never be able to leave.

Something like destiny or what, you don't love it the first time, but you'll love it.

It's not even your interest sometimes. And normally you just turn away immediately when you hear of it. Or speak out something (..hmm..) when you know that you've been chosen to be the leader, and it's probably your best friend's suggestion... ==

But you don't know.

One day you'll be the one to lead the group. And one day you'll give all your time to it. One day you'll win, and you'll cheer. One day you'll lose, and you'll secretly hide behind the wall and find that tears are silently rolling down your cheeks.

You don't know.

But you will know.

As tears keep falling.....

寻星 & Pesta Bahasa 2010

2010-04-02T01:43:00.000-07:00

Time Flies

2010-04-02T01:22:00.000-07:00

时间飞走了。

用飞的，带着各种回忆。（却还飞得动。）

而不见翅膀。

好像才过了几天，实际上，一个月就这样过去了。

很久没有写部落格了，看着年久失修的部落格，一阵惆怅。

想写东西很久了，却始终无法抽出时间。

我还是学不会忙里偷闲。

想写很多，寻星营, Pesta Bahasa.....

但往往一搁下，回头感觉就消失了。

上载一些照片，大家一起看图说故事吧。呵呵。

有些感觉不逗留，有些感觉却叫不走。

也许我真的很敏感吧，一些细微的感觉就能久久困扰我的思绪。

但这算什么呢？感觉这种东西，太缥缈了。

很可怕的。

我不胆小，但我却害怕不确定。

又到时间了，该走了。

P/S: Time Flies 是陈奕讯的最新EP, 而最近让我沉溺的是，一首“无人之境”。

无人之境，却有你。

无人之境 by 陈奕讯

2010-04-02T01:12:00.000-07:00

让理智在叫著冷静冷静

还恃住年少气盛

让我对著冲动背著宿命

浑忘自己的姓

沉睡的凶猛在苏醒

完全为你现形

这个世界最坏罪名

叫太易动情但我喜欢这罪名

惊天动地只可惜天地亦无情

不敢有风不敢有声

这爱情无人证

飞天遁地贪一刻的乐极忘形

好想说谎不眨眼睛

这爱情无人性

若世界陷进大骗局裏面

朋友亦难以发现

共你隔著空在秘密通电

挑战道德底线

如若早三五年相见

何来内心交战

我信与你继续乱缠

难再有发展但我想跟你乱缠

惊天动地只可惜天地亦无情

不敢有风不敢有声

这爱情无人证

飞天遁地贪一刻的乐极忘形

好想说谎不眨眼睛

这爱情无人性

即使间整个约会情调幽暗似地下城

还是算温馨

多麼想跟你散步桥上把臂看著风景

但是我清醒

月亮总不肯照亮情欲深处那道背影

你我像快快乐乐同游在异境

浪漫到一起惹绝症

不想说明只想反应

Unintended by Muse

2010-03-11T23:54:00.000-08:00

You could be my unintended
Choice to live my life extended
You could be the one I'll always love
You could be the one who listens to my deepest inquisitions
You could be the one I'll always love

I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before

First there was the one who challenged
All my dreams and all my balance
She could never be as good as you
You could be my unintended
Choice to live my life extended
You should be the one I'll always love

I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before

I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before

Before you

生日快乐

2010-02-15T08:45:00.000-08:00

" Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday to viatrix, happy birthday to me...! " ^ ^

“祝我生日快乐，祝我生日快乐，祝我生日快乐，祝我生日快乐....！”

2月16日！我叶某人一年一度的生日又到咯！

94年的这天，一个美貌与智慧兼备，冰雪聪明，善解人意，温柔可人，伶牙俐齿，倾国倾城，沉鱼落雁，闭月羞花，美丽大方，活泼可爱，IQ爆炸.......................................................................................................还很自恋的叶家长女就这样诞生了！

“她的诞生为这世界增添了美丽的色彩！”（取自某书...）

（路人：自我感觉良好......唉......）

今天是我十六岁生日啦！（落在大年初三噢...）

前一天晚上才和慧馨一起去瀚敏家大闹（还有收礼物...呵呵），十一点多赶快回家，手机充满电等简讯，打开电脑等留言........

结果：满载而归啦！

谢谢你们在第一时间送上祝福！（或是新年吃太饱睡不着才会发简讯来.....？哈哈...）

由于现在已经很夜了，我那双熊猫眼支撑时间有限，所以就不一一写出你们的名字了。(抱歉噢...)

只想说：“你们的祝福我都收到了！多谢多谢！”

是时候许愿了吧？

第一: 希望我身边的每个人健健康康，平平安安。

第二：希望学校的一切：学业，乐队，辩论，学记......都顺顺利利！

第三：这个就留给我自己了吧！哈哈.....

希望全部愿望都能实现！

再一次不厌其烦地感谢所有记得我生日的人....!

要去睡咯！大家好梦！睁开眼就是美好的一天！

虎年来咯！

2010-02-13T20:42:00.000-08:00

“有时候，有时候，宁愿相信一切有尽头.....”

牛年来到尽头了！

除夕夜，团圆饭要“看见什么吃什么”......

守岁紧记“夜太美，尽管再危险，总有人黑着眼眶熬着夜......”

但要小心黑眼圈，因为明天就是“大日子，一个好开始......”

哈哈！^ ^

祝你虎年“无乐不作”，开开心心！！！

P/S: 华纳群星合唱的“有只老虎”真的爆好听！记得去看看它的mv噢！

风继续吹...

2010-01-31T00:00:00.000-08:00

一段时间没有写部落格了，发现这里的味道都变了一点。好不容易有时间上网了，但今天的网络不太好，试着开一个网页开了很多次还是开不到。不管怎样，至少还是看完了星光。呵呵。而且我最喜欢的选手改造后变好帅噢。

又要去补习了....

最近忽然领悟，不管我是谁，我的心情是什么，时间依旧流逝，没有一丝怜悯。

而生活还是一样枯燥地进行着，不管是不是我的选择。

生存真的变成一种规则了。（取自某歌词...)

感觉每天都浑浑饨饨地过，好像还没来得及认真去体验，又是新的一天了。而还是得做，不管喜不喜欢，那些无聊的东西。

时间是件奢侈品，对我。

而我仍幻想能拥有，不管。

Life goes on.....

必须离开了。

而对有关心我部落格的朋友，我的生活还是一样，只是快乐少了，感叹多了。

风继续吹。

（把忘掉的思念都吹回来了...)

寻找一种歇斯底里

2010-01-10T23:49:00.000-08:00

歇斯底里 by 林宥嘉

情绪high到最高点
紧绷的脊椎
就像马上要断的弦
悄悄话要用丹田
否则观众会听不见
心跳要提高分贝
求个天崩地裂

别怪我天生太热血
把梦变成摇滚乐
歇斯底里救世界
有什麼不对
喔再憔悴都奉陪
喔再轮回我都不会累

浅尝即止太浪费
麻痹了味蕾
连狩猎都失去滋味
有感情不怕发挥
有欲望为何要荒废
不爱则已无所谓
一爱就要崩溃

别怪我天生太热血
把梦变成摇滚乐
歇斯底里救世界
有什麼不对
喔叫热泪都煮沸
喔叫触须更敏锐
喔叫一万次都不会累
理智深埋在知觉的墓碑
感性万岁想入非非

多一点我要多一点
快一点谁还慢一点
临界点没有边界
不检点让我自便

怪我天生太热血
把梦变成摇滚乐
歇斯底里救世界
有什麼不对
喔用一生去体会
喔疯狂去体会 (谁叫这世界太美)
喔歇斯底里忠於感觉
理智深埋在知觉的墓碑
感性万岁想入非非

喔谁比谁狼狈 (其实都没差别)
喔谁比谁快一步陶醉
喔谁比谁先获得智慧
理智深埋在知觉的墓碑
感性万岁想入非非
歇斯底里救世界

第一次听到这首歌就无法自拔地爱上。（是真的无法自拔，随时随地都想听到这首歌的无法自拔）

真是词曲唱都很棒的一首歌啊。

而在歌曲以外......

歇斯底里。

是怎么一种歇斯底里？声嘶力竭呼喊感觉的歇斯底里？放任情感尽情高歌的歇斯底里? 情绪失控陷入幻觉的歇斯底里？........

哪一种，我都爱。

我在寻找一种歇斯底里，让我能一直忠于自己的感觉，让我能痛快地畅所欲言，让我能不顾他人眼光高歌起舞，让我能抛开一切世俗束缚追寻自己的未来........

让我

敢爱。

我的生活缺乏一点疯狂。

“理智深埋在知觉的墓碑，感性万岁想入非非......”

多余的理智一直阻挡我去追求更多感觉。

而我想逃。

“有感情不怕发挥，有欲望为何要荒废，不爱则亦无所谓，一爱就要崩溃......”

毫无保留，沉醉。

世界崩塌有何所谓？

我只想寻找一种歇斯底里。

Beginning or Ending

2010-01-03T13:15:00.000-08:00

My 2010 begins, but I think it'll be ending soon.

MY BLOODY SCHOOL LIFE IS GOING TO START...!

(Okay, calm down, it isn't really bad actually.)

I'm in 4Sc2 this year. (I'll really kill you if you ask me is it because I can't get into Sc1...)

Sc1 and Sc2 are just the same, guys!

Well, let's get back to our topic.

"Beginning or ending...?"

Firstly, I'll have to settle my homework as fast as possible.

Who knows how many reading programmes have to be done?...Isn't it holiday?!

So I just did nothing, clear.

But form 4 teachers are definitely not noobies.

And before you start to scold me, please listen to my reason first. (Although it is more suitable to be called as an excuse...)

"I went to Europe before school ends, so I'm totally blur about what happened next. " Sounds reasonable..?

And the truth....

I just want to enjoy my holidays! Who cares about reading programmes and newspaper cutting while playing with cute guys in the snow?

I don't even know what books are in the list! Bloody hell, and I just don't think that I can find any of those stupid malay books here...!

So......?

I'm not sure that I can be safe and sound after going back to school. But if my cute friends have left copies of their answers, the ending will be totally different! (Save me, dude!...）

P/S: Bad news....The first eam will be held on 07/02!

Now I'm sure that my world is colliding......

每次退后又错过你的世界一点

2009-12-24T12:44:00.000-08:00

"每次退后又错过你的世界一点..."

陈奕迅《心的距离》

混乱的平安夜

2009-12-24T12:14:00.000-08:00

平安夜。

思绪整片混乱。

感觉上千种念头在同一时间冲击我脆弱的脑袋，而我只能一遍又一遍被各种思绪彻底淹没，用完全的静止来证明我的无力反抗。

我到底是怎么了？

我好像应该觉得开心(毕竟PMR 8 A's 是件值得高兴的事)，但感觉又不是这么一回事。

好像有很多事情等着我去完成，但仔细去想其实什么都不剩。感觉双手很想敲打键盘，却打出一堆毫无意义的符号。

又开始自我厌倦了。

“爱过太多东西，但什么时候我才会爱我？”

下意识在msn敲出这行字，不知道为什么，忧郁细胞又开始缠上我了。

灵感一直涌出却一直中断，在存档未完成的文件水准一直降低却一直增加，一直有什么很想说却一直说不出来，一直对自己失望却一直有愧疚感，一直敲打键盘却一直偏离主题，一直.........

一直。

重复。

直到对自己彻底厌倦为止。

结论：自我厌倦。

很讨厌的东西。

关于甜言蜜语

2009-12-22T06:53:00.000-08:00

我很爱听甜言蜜语。

这样代表我很没用吗？

也许吧。

我就是受不了甜言蜜语。

受不了受不了受不了受不了受不了受不了受不了受不了受不了受不了受不了受不了受不了受不了受不了受不了受不了受不了受不了受不了受不了受不了受不了受不了受不了受不了受不了受不了受不了受不了受不了受不了受不了受不了受不了受不了受不了受不了受不了

彻底的受不了。没用的我。

觉得可以把甜言蜜语说得有深度是一件不太容易的事，一般凡夫俗子很难办到，因此特别欣赏有这项才能的人。

虽然这种人好像还没出现过。

爱好甜言蜜语好像也是一种逃避现实的表现。

（好吧，我的病真的有点严重。）

但脱离现实世界原本就是我可悲的天赋。

而我真的期待有一天可以遇见这样的人。

请用甜言蜜语麻醉我。

解high人 by 林宥嘉

2009-12-07T14:26:00.000-08:00

全球狂欢偏偏我要和我独处
全民排队而我好想脱离队伍
搞笑节目在播为何眼眶溢出瀑布
搞不清楚如何自处才不会白目

宝贝坐下来让我说明白
我好想对你坦白却害怕你乏味转台
若是静下来把我看明白
是不是就无意外担保获得你的宠爱

快要合照偏偏我要躲到墙角
快要合唱可我好想低声祈祷
时间太少来宾太吵谁来听我心跳
我只听到我只照料我的需要

宝贝坐下来让我说明白
别怪我不够厉害太煞风景解你的high
若是静下来把我看明白
万一我还想作怪你难道能见怪不怪

快乐快半拍悲哀慢半拍
慢吞吞徘徊在民调之外
爱我不可爱恨我不够坏
我也很无奈让人解high (真的解high)
扫兴的天才 (人见人害)

不要把我想成那样从来不是众望
谁要对我寄予厚望谁就失望

我要说明白秒针却太快
就这样沦为公害万众集体把我淘汰
若是说明白原来不精彩
像蚂蚁没有名字大众脸你喜不喜爱

写得很棒的歌词，唱得很好的一首歌。

“时间太少来宾太吵谁来听我心跳，我只听到我只照料我的需要...”

对这两句特别有感觉。

时常身处在人群中，灵魂就不知不觉飘到别处。

渐渐，喜欢上这种矛盾的感觉。

融入，却抽离。

"全球狂欢偏偏我要和我独处，全民排队偏偏我要脱离队伍..."

"快要合照偏偏我要躲到墙角，快要合唱可我好想低声祈祷..."

不被人群淹没，我乐于当个解high人。

懒

2009-12-06T07:25:00.001-08:00

关于我很懒这件事，其实一直没有想过要否认。

“天生懒人。”甚至是这样形容我自己的。

我从来不觉得懒有什么不对，也从不感到一丝尴尬，关于我很懒这事。

我甚至很乐在其中。

我的生活态度就是懒。

有时，懒只是逃避的延伸。为了不触碰于是我逃避，为了不想面对于是我懒得面对。

有首歌叫“懒”，我觉得写得很棒。

“我们都有不可告人的寂寞，我们都假装着健康的生活，早睡早起不要想得太多，日子就这样过..."

有时候真的不是不想做自己，但是，真的没那么简单。尤其当生活圈子中出现越来越多话不投机的人，明明不认同却要点头，明明有想法却不能开口，明明有态度却不能表露，明明有原则却不能遵守...这种感觉真像在地狱。

不是不能反抗，但始终不能脱离还是孩子这事。烦。

我明明就没有认真在念书。但我可以这样回答吗？不！

真的烦。真的懒。

我懒得再装了。

于是我变得懒得开口。

“懒得去想懒得去管，懒得快乐懒得悲伤懒得堕落。把所有问题抛在角落，不清不楚不过问什么收获。懒得去爱懒得去恨，懒得回忆懒得遗憾懒得迷惑，继续假装努力地生活..."

懒得快乐懒得悲伤。

懒得回忆懒得遗憾。

渐渐，我们都懒得去爱了。

然后，我们都懒得生活了。

也许真的有点叛逆吧，我就是很不满，关于限制这件事。

我为什么不能懒？

我懒得自在。

你无权批评我。

“继续假装努力地生活..."

仍然自在慵懒地生活。

我就是懒得理直气壮。

You Better Let Somebody Love You

2009-12-03T07:05:00.000-08:00

Lyrics actually. But, have a deep thought about it.

" You better let somebody love you...."

How do you feel if there's no one on earth love you?......Can't imagine this at all?

For me, I think it's okay, actually. It's not a damn serious thing, I mean.

Well, you may not understand me, even I can't understand myself.

I like to escape.

From anything, anything that may hurt me.

Such a coward.

Try to escape from reality has become a big aim in my everyday life.

I try to hide in a song.

Then I find this.

" You better let somebody love you...."

Sometimes I think I'm a desperado.

Funny?... Maybe, but I'm really serious about this.

A desperado in life.

Flee from one's heart to one's heart. Refuse to leave my footprints.

And I don't know where should I stop. Or should I stop?......

Where should I find the answer? When no one can hear me deep in my heart?

And finally, it appears......

" You better let somebody love you, before it's too late...."

That I Would Be Good

2009-11-29T09:52:00.000-08:00

"That I would be good......"

It's actually a song from Alanis Morissette. One of the songs that make me cry.

Maybe it's not a song that you'll love it the first moment you hear it. But, once you try to repeat it at night, alone, you'll find out that you refuse to stop it.

"Let it stay here with me. "

Here, with no one around me, with my loneliness shouting out loud, with my tears falling from my eyes, with my heart breaking silently, with........

THAT I WOULD BE GOOD.

Touched by this song, badly and badly.

THAT I WOULD BE GOOD
THAT I WOULD BE GOOD
THAT I WOULD BE GOOD

That I would be good...?

Perhaps.

And finally, my world turns black and silent.

While the song still goes on...

"That I would be good, whether with or without you..."

只想置身世外

2009-11-25T07:33:00.000-08:00

我真的不是自闭。

只是有时候，想置身世外。

幻想在喧闹的世界中，可以找到一个属于我的角落。

幻想。

不够现实的叫幻想，不曾印证的叫幻想，不会实现的叫幻想。

于是我抽离。

想一个人安静的凝视这世界，没有人打扰。

没有人打扰。

没有人。

没有。

走在街上，总有种感觉这不是我该走的路。

但谁知道我该走向哪里？

周围尘烟四起，而我只想置身世外。

无知

2009-11-25T06:25:00.000-08:00

让喧闹的都静止

（在另一个世界我放肆地高歌）

而你在看什么

那无知的双眼在瞪什么

（你眼中腐朽的瞳孔在炫耀你的愚昧）

让静止的世界只剩下我

（低贱的肉体请滚到一边）

而你在说什么

那腐烂发臭的口在吐什么

（你对于自身的愚蠢一无所知）

2009 Award & Certificates Presentation Ceremony

2009-11-18T06:09:00.000-08:00

I'm singing " Hand In My Pocket". An awesome song from Alanis Morisette.

Loneliness Has A Sweet Taste

2009-11-01T16:36:00.000-08:00

Quiet.

Don't make a sound.

Let the guitar goes. With the feeling of great sorrow......

"Strumming my pain with his fingers." Suddenly recall the sentence, from an awesome song.

"Killing Me Softly With His Song", one of the important memories for those who love English Classics.

Nothing to disturb. And nothing is allowed to disturb.

The time just creeps......

LONELINESS HAS A SWEET TASTE.

And after all, this is my conclusion.

Sweet Goodbye

2009-11-01T16:16:00.000-08:00

This Saturday I'll be going to KL, with my mum. After that, I'll leave Malaysia, alone.

Sounds cool?

But sure, I'm not a desperado. I'm just a 15-year-old girl who finished her PMR and now gets what her parent'd promised.

I'll be going to Netherlands!!!

Actually I can set off earlier. But damn unlucky that I'll have to sit for my vocal exam on Thursday and theory exam on Saturday. And I'll be more unlucky if I skip the exams. It means that all the effort I put this year will be wasted! So......

POSTPONE

Whatever.

I'll stay with my aunt there. Being a desperado is not actually a bad thing, though.

Don't miss me.

Just a sweet goodbye.

(P/S: I'll still be posting, if I have the chance. And I know I will. )

Desperado by Eagles

2009-10-28T21:45:00.000-07:00

Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?
You been out ridin' fences for so long now
Oh, you're a hard one
I know that you got your reasons
These things that are pleasin' you
Can hurt you somehow
Don' you draw the queen of diamonds, boy
She'll beat you if she's able
You know the queen of heats is always your best bet
Now it seems to me, some fine things
Have been laid upon your table
But you only want the ones that you can't get
Desperado, oh, you ain't gettin' no youger
Your pain and your hunger, they're drivin' you home
And freedom, oh freedom well, that's just some people talkin'
Your prison is walking through this world all alone
Don't your feet get cold in the winter time?
The sky won't snow and the sun won't shine
It's hard to tell the night time from the day
You're loosin' all your highs and lows
Ain't it funny how the feeling goes away?
Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?
Come down from your fences, open the gateIt may be rainin', but there's a rainbow above you
You better let somebody love you, before it's too late

Leave Me Alone

2009-10-25T06:19:00.000-07:00

I'm not a fastidious person.

I'm just capricious, sometimes.

And stubborn, right.

I don't think I'm kind. And I allow myself to be wilful, sometimes.

I don't think I'm kind and friendly, I repeat.

Thus, I never force myself to face the crowd, when I'm not right.

But, there's always no choice for me. Clear.

I've to face the people I don't like, smile like I'm taking photo, chat something damn boring, laugh at what actually disgusting.........STOP!

STOP WASTING MY TIME.

I can't control my mind.

I just afraid that I'll do something......strange?

And it makes me blue.

It reminds me of failing to be myself in the crowd.

I HATE THAT FEELING.

Just leave me alone.

Shut up and leave me alone.

I enjoy my loneliness and I'll recover.

JUST THAT.

Never push me into the crowd.

PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE.

Incomplete

2009-10-14T00:51:00.002-07:00

Yi Wen and Viatrix , two aquarius girls. Her casual versus my rock style...YEAH!

I like this picture.

Jeniffer nuan and I playing guitar.

]

Those are some pictures from 09 band annual dinner. Actually still a lot lot more nicer pictures in my handphone.

BUT........I can't upload them!

Don't ask me why. Just a bloody bloody story.

And, the picture which I like the most, still be kept in my handphone, for now untill forever.

If there is something as destiny, you'll see the picture.

And it means a difference, a big difference.

I Can't Take My Eyes Off You

2009-10-14T00:51:00.001-07:00

A strange feeling appeared in me......

I thought it is all over, but after last night, it seems like what i thought was completely wrong. It is not over.

Yet, it is getting stronger and stronger.

I'm overwhelmed by the strange feeling. For the whole night and the whole morning untill now.

I CAN'T TAKE MY EYES OFF YOU.

My mind is completely chaotic now.

The sentence just appered in my mind suddenly like it was already there.

But i just can't explain what's going on and what'll be coming next.

CHAOTIC.

Completely CHAOTIC....

Can't express my feeling anymore.

"The Blower's Daughter" , the second song in my blog, the best song for now. In his song, i get lost again.

I think i need time to recover.

I NEED TIME.

P/S: A completely rubbish post and a pitiful straying me......

Shout It Out

2009-10-14T00:51:00.000-07:00

The bloody exam is over, finally.

And I return to my world, the real world of my own.

Some friends are feeling lost, sad, weary.....whatever. But I'm not that type, luckily. I return to my real life, with the feeling of released, and excited.

I enjoy myself in my world, not the one full with exam paper that satisfy me.

I need music, I need blog, I need xing guang, I need air of freedom, I need coffee without exam-revision taste, I need myself......!!!

So now the bloody exam is over, I would like to say again and again.

The bloody geo, sej and kh are no longer in my life, at least for now. Yeah!

I need rock now. Let's shout all my stress out.

Forget about the past, forget about the future, i just have to enjoy the music now.

Thus, a new song is added here. "You oughta know" by Alanis Morisette. A really really awesome song for now.

LET'S SHOUT IT OUT!

寂寞盗手

2009-10-14T00:45:00.000-07:00

谁的寂寞我没有

把爱情放进冰箱里的寂寞
把回忆丢进冰河里的寂寞
把心动埋进雪地里的寂寞
把感动洒进雪花里的寂寞

〔未完成……）

〔今天一次将所有考卷上写的东西都贴上来了。考卷也许会被我丢掉，但感动却被我留了下来。〕

逃亡中的女爵

2009-10-14T00:01:00.000-07:00

一直很喜欢女爵这主题，觉得它代表的是一种矛盾的心态，迷恋地位却又无法抗拒地陷入寂寞与理智的对决中。当一个有社会地位的人，承受的压力是很大的，咽下的寂寞也是很深的。但要她放弃名利，又好像不是这么一回事。她的心中还是存在对权利的迷恋，即使知道要付出代价，她也在所不惜。那她为什么总贪恋权利地位？也许是来自她内心的不安全感，希望能被什么紧紧绑住的感觉吧。好像失去了这一切，她就丢失了自己的生存意义。

那逃亡中的女爵就是将这种内心的矛盾表现得淋漓尽致。她受不了压力与束缚，于是她逃。但不管她逃得多远，她始终无法，也不想卸下女爵的身份。也许怕一旦失去了身份地位，就会在人潮中被淹没了吧。她不知道她该逃多久，该逃到哪里。她只知道，要是她停下脚步，她就会被寂寞淹没了。

想用这个主题创作几首词曲，可以把这种内心的矛盾直接地唱出来，这种感觉应该很棒吧。

在考试时写了几段类似的歌词，虽然写的没有很好，但是能用我喜欢的文字，纪念考试时等待的时间，那考试，也没有那么可悲了吧。

虽然是不完整的几段，其实是两首歌。

第一首：

我好累
我逃
逃不出寂寞范围
我想我应该沉醉
当一个逃亡中的女爵
用眼泪
逃寂寞

我好累
我跑
却忘了我在找谁
我学会独自陶醉
当一个逃亡中的女爵
用心碎
逃虚伪

第二首：

当一个女爵
当偷月光的贼
用寂寞编成陷井
套住最美的迂回

当一个女爵
当偷回忆的贼
用伤心筑成围墙
独吞最痛的心碎

其实两首歌说的大概是一样的心情，只不过第一首是女爵的内心独白，而第二首是以说故事的方式，描述女爵可悲的一生。

2009-10-13T23:42:00.000-07:00

考过以后，我们能做的只有祈祷

2009-10-13T23:13:00.000-07:00

当风把尘埃都吹走
我还紧握手中微不足道的坚持
赤手的我还能发出什么光呢
至少当流星划过
我可以
许一个愿

（这是我在PMR Sejarah考卷上的涂鸦。当结局已注定，能做的只有等待了。）

I'll get 8 A's in PMR! ^ ^

2009-09-19T23:32:00.000-07:00

当我走到尽头......

2009-09-19T21:59:00.000-07:00

墙上那老旧的时钟仍苟延残喘地发出“滴答滴答”声。

是在对我发出最后的提醒？……

而我只能动也不动地站着，任双脚继续陷入污泥中。

蓦然回首，走过的路已蜿蜒成你眼里的一条小溪。

那么长了。（走过的路已那么长了……）

而我还要走去哪里？（茫然，而无解……）

滴答滴答……是秒针走动的声音吗？（怎么我听成了心碎的声音……）

我还是走着的吗？

（无语，而雨仍下。）

当我走到尽头。

当我走到尽头。
当我走到尽头。
当我走到尽头。
当我走到尽头。
当我走到尽头。

（…………）

彷徨，是该进或退？

当时间无情地宣判，我跪下。

回头的路已碎成一片片的白雪……

（雨不停，那是你的泪吗？）

而我终于知道，我已没有选择。

悬崖。

一跳。

我会看见最美的风景，由雪花点缀成最壮丽的结局。

（PMR将近，有感而发……）

Do 8 A's mean anything?

2009-09-07T01:12:00.001-07:00

I've been given back all my papers.

My result: BM 89% BI 82% BC 92% ( I scored the highest for these three subjects in my class...and the highest score for BC among all....^ ^)

MM 94% SC 90% SEJ 87% GEO 87% KH 87%

8 A's.....Look nice, right?

But, what it means actually?

IT DOESN'T MEAN A THING.

( This can't satisfy me, dude!...)

I just hope that i wont let you down.

Hope that i can do my best in the exam.

Hope that my holiday trip to Netherlands as reward is worthy.

Hope that i'll be in 4 Sc 1 next year.

And what's the most important......

I HOPE THAT MY FUTURE IS NOT ONLY 8 A's.

I want to make this world different......

THIS IS MY PROMISE

佑佑

2009-09-07T00:36:00.000-07:00

Pictures: 转载自孙自佑台湾后援会、大陆后援会

Thanks....^ ^

Recently, quite lazy to update my blog.

Sorry...

As i am watching 第五季超级星光大道, crazylly following all 佑佑's news.

Yup, 佑佑...The cutest and smartest among all. (Those who support 杰宇，骏文，明湘 or who else, don't be angry ar...They are excellent, too. ^ ^)

Hmm, back to the main theme.

Let's write something about 佑佑...The voice that you CAN'T and you WON'T miss this year.

He is one of the participants of 超级星光大道. He is taiwanese, from 高雄. His sound is awesome, the highest mark of him is 25 marks. (That means full marks lu...)

He is so so so so so SUPER CUTE!!!!!!! (You can find his photos on facebook...join his group!...)

The way he talks is absolutely unique and cute. ( Use 气音to talk is his style...^ ^)

That's also why he happened to be the most popular participant. So far, there are already 900++ fans who joined his group on facebook, left other participants far far behind...XD

Okay lah. That's all now. Gotta go....( Watch his newest video ^ ^)

Bye!

Search

2009-08-26T23:13:00.000-07:00

I'm searching for something....

I can search anything by using internet. Just type what i want, click "search", then wait for the answer. It is too easy. I don't like it.

Anything that is too easy to obtain will lose its meaning. I agree to it.

I can search anything by using internet. And there will be lots of answers for me to choose. It's too cheap. I don't like it.

Anything that can be replaced easily will lose its meaning. I agree to it.

But what if i search for myself in your heart?......

Type " stupid viatrix", click "search'.

Nothing.

No result for "stupid viatrix".

It means that i'm meaningful...?

Nope.

IT MEANS THAT I DON'T WANT TO FACE THE TRUTH.

For meaning nothing for you...

P/S: Thus, i'm still searching for something. Something that won't hurt me......

How lazy am I ?

2009-08-26T22:30:00.001-07:00

How lazy am i?....

This question is a bit difficult for me. As there are too much examples that i can't write them out one by one. And i'm lazy to write them out. Hahahahaha......

I don't like to drink water at home...
Because i'm lazy to take the glass.

I don't like to switch on the light at home...
Because i'm lazy to switch off.

I don't like to talk at home...
Because i'm lazy to open my mouth.

I don't like to do homework at home...
Because i'm lazy to open my pencil case.

I don't like to write things at home...
Because i'm lazy to find my note book in the damn messy bag.

I don't like to go out if not necessary...
Because i'm lazy to wear my shoes.

I don't like to end a post.
Because i'm lazy to put a full-stop.

If you want to hit me, here i am.
Because i'm lazy to escape.

Wakaka.........

I won't stop laughing.
Because i'm lazy to close my mouth.

How lazy am i, see?

Waiting for my playlist

2009-08-26T21:47:00.000-07:00

I'm quite sad recently. As i'm waiting for my playlist everytime i open my blog, but still a disappointing silent there.

I can't stand with a blog without sound. Please!

I miss my favourite songs here. "Creep", "Smells Like Teen Spirit", "One of Us", and "Hand in My Pocket"...

What is the problem actually?...The stupid website...

Maybe i'll make a new playlist. But, who knows? If i can't find my favourite songs there?

And lazy is the biggest problem for me now.

I'm totally in holiday mood now. For most of my friends, my life now is completelly a waste of time, an expired and smelly me, a will-be-rubbish......

What?...Disgusting i admit.

I'm not a hardworking person i admit, i'm not a good student i admit, i'm not a obedient girl i admit, and i do not look like any of the candidate who will be sitting for PMR this year i admit......

But so what?!

I ENJOY MY LIFE NOW.

Sorry if i let you down. But, forgive me for being such a weird girl.

The end. ( And the ending of this post has nothing to do with my title above i admit...)

Sax Family

2009-08-22T23:11:00.001-07:00

Ah Zheng, Swet Fern, Annie, I and Ming Rong......( The one wearing black shirt sitting behind can be ignored...)

The five of us, the spirit of eternal, the sax team of CHKB.

夜夜夜夜

2009-08-20T10:57:00.000-07:00

Love this song.

The guitar solo is brilliant, the soft vocal is brilliant, and the sad lyric is brilliant.

It makes me......

Decide to find my way, the way in my life.

I can't depend on the plan anymore.

I can't live in your shadow anymore.

I can't stop here anymore.

I HAVE TO FIND MY WAY.

“我不愿再放纵，
我不愿每天每夜每秒漂流，
也不愿再多说再多做再多求我的梦……”

I'm tired now. It's time for me to go. And i'll find my way.

Maybe the dirty street in the city, maybe the long path in the jungle......

Don't worry about me, i'll find it myself.

A voyager

finally
found her way home......

考卷上的涂鸦

2009-08-20T09:45:00.000-07:00

我喜欢在考卷上涂鸦。

已经养成了习惯，做完考卷后，一定会在上面写些东西。都是些随笔。

不知为什么，考试时总是特别有灵感，右手提起笔就是有写东西的冲动。也许是考场内严肃的气氛，将脑袋里储存已旧的东西都挤出来了吧! 平时太懒，总是等到百般无聊、无所事事时，才甘愿静下心来把脑中的思绪化为文字。但不知考场中写出的文字，是否也沾了考试浓浓的，惹人厌的味道？

这次写得不好，但的确都是一些真实的心情。希望你看了之后，也能感受到我的故事。

从书包中拿出一叠破烂的考卷……

第一张：国文理解

当夕阳落尽时
你将与天空中的一丝残红同行
到大海幽蓝的最深处
用一曲寂寞的挽歌
歌颂曲终人散

第二张：数学

而你最终还是没有回头
当笔锋上的墨晕出最后一口叹息
而我最终还是没有回头
当天空中的云拼出最后一抹思念

第三张：英文理解

按奈不住一丝浮躁
任澎湃的内心控制住脑袋
任汹涌的情绪控制住身体
也许该把责任推给阳光吧
是它唤醒年少轻狂的冲动
让一颗灼热的心在艳阳下
蠢蠢欲动

第四张：华文理解

暴风袭卷平静的海面
倒映的月光还是微笑着
任涟漪被吹向天的角落
任泡沫被带到夜的尽头
用力撑起微笑的弧度
在破晓前让星星赞叹
即使身心已
凹凸

当微风把眼泪带走的时候
我将笑着说：“风平浪静。”

这些写得不怎么样的文字都是我这一阵子的心情写照，尤其是最后一篇。〔我就是月亮，而你是暴风吗…也许爱情本身才是暴风。而它吹起你的海面，却也乱了我的笑颜。〕

一叠考卷价值多少？……

值一滴眼泪。

Finally I Heard It From You

2009-08-09T22:42:00.000-07:00

You know how it hurts?...

You are smiling like being in heaven.

The only thing i can do is just pretending to be happy too.

But i am crying in my heart...

Staring out through the window, i hear my heart breaking silently.

You know how it hurts?...

No, you never know me.

Tears keep falling from my eyes

2009-08-09T21:44:00.000-07:00

I did really badly during rehearsal. I made some terrible mistakes which i had never made before. Damn disappointed for not doing well although i've prepared to do my best. And i felt sorry, really.

Maybe my target for myself was too high, i was scared that if i can't achieve what i wanted to achieve. I can't make any mistake. But i was not confident in myself. I just don't want to be the one to spoil the whole formation. And i was strongly determine to play the full show.

Before our turn to perform, finally, i broke down.

Tears kept on falling from my eyes...

Everyone was asking me why but i just found it hard to open my mouth to explain. I knew i need to calm down but i failed to make it.

I just let the tears keep falling and let everyone look at me like i was a freak.

" Do the best for our form 5 seniors!"

I knew how important it meant to all the form 5 seniors. And i really wanted to do my best for them. So i forced myself to calm down. I knew it was the only chance.

Sir was asking me why. I just couldn't answer him at that moment. I just told him to leave me alone and i'd find my way.

Before we stepped into the stadium, i heard from them. Tze Zia, Swet Fern and Ming Rong who were standing around me, asked me to jia you.
And still many many more friends.....( Also, thanks to Poh Nuan and Bear for accompany me so long.)

After our performance, i thought i was released. When going out, i still stayed calm. But, after i saw Peng Yim crying, i lost control again.

Tears just kept on falling and i didn't know why. My friends were shocked again but they just don't know how to make me stop crying.

Finally, the result was announced. And i was finally released. I didn't wish to cry again. But, still, dropped some tears for ah Poi.

I don't want to cry next year.

This is my promise.

2009 National Marching Band Competition

2009-08-09T21:19:00.000-07:00

The competition took place at Pasir Gudang, Johor.
With high expectations from people around, we started our journey to Johor on 6/8.
We faced a lot of problems, but we solved them together.
We tried our best to fight for the best.
And finally, we did it.

We got silver award and our DM got second place for the best DM. We did a good show. The most important, we showed our improvement, our heart and our attitude. That were all that mattered.

For the best DM, here i would like to say something to ah Poi. Although sometimes you are hot-temper, you are a good leader. Although sometimes you are very zi lian, you are very responsible. Although sometimes you are noob, for example, not listen to my instructions while i was doing magic XD, you are funny and kind.

Just to tell you......

No matter what, you are always the best DM in our heart!

在你眼里堕落

2009-07-05T08:03:00.001-07:00

当天边第一道曙光射入
我肆意随着太阳的浅笑
放任疲惫的身躯呈现不堪一击的姿势
膜拜被风吹起的尘埃

放一切不安于隐蔽的角落好好收藏
放一切空虚于挑剔的舌尖好好品尝

分不清坠落与堕落
我在你眼中逐渐苏醒成最陌生的自己
在寂寞的旋涡中呻吟着
在放纵的边界挣扎着

而那道光线究竞指向何方

在地平线蹒跚的身影
是追随你的人们
抑或是从寂寞的深海中逃脱的旅人

我沿着光线走去
在曲曲折折的尽头听见寂寞的颂歌
而我只看见一抹绿
深深地将我捆绑在怀中

我以一种卑微的姿态走向你
在你眼里

堕

落

Leaving hell...

2009-06-29T08:37:00.000-07:00

Actually today i was so sad.

I cried in my car in the morning.

Felt like being in hell.

My mum talked nicely to me, anyway. But i just couldn't get out of it.

Lukily it didn't rain this morning.

Or i just can't imagine how sad i could be.

SADSADSADSADSADSADSADSADSADSADSADSADSADSADSADSAD

And it stopped here.

After band practice, i felt totally different.

The laughter and joy cleared up my mind.

The two pictures were our cute sax team.

Cute?....

I was the one wearing a sky-blue shirt on the right side.

Look bar but quite enjoyed....wakaka...^ ^

p/s: Sorry ar, Dave...

Stole your pics...XD

Perfect?

2009-06-29T07:42:00.000-07:00

" Cause we lost it all...

Nothing lasts forever...

I'm sorry i can't be perfect.."

PERFECT?......

As i've told you before, i'm not as brave as i thought.

I can't really face the truth, though.

Being too strong is a sometimes a burden. And i'm annoyed.

ENOUGH.

I don't have to be the person i want to be.

I just have to BE MYSELF.

And why on earth should i be the person you want me to be?.....

I don't have to pretend that i'm brave. It's just to protect myself....from being hurt.

Being too strong is sometimes a burden....

And i'm annoyed.

( Sorry, i can't be perfect.)

I'm not as independent as you think. And i refuse to.

I just don't want to live all by myself. With no one beside, ALL BY MYSELF.

I need someone to help me.

I'm not a superwoman.

( Sorry, i can't be perfect)

While i was in form 2, i wished to be a good student in form 3. But, I've failed to do so.

And i just won't wish to be a good student anymore.

Deep inside me, i'm not a good student. But, badly, everyone thinks that i am.

And i admit that. I'm NOT the type of good student.

Thus, i wont be anything except me.

It doesn't mean that i'll turn bad. I'll just remain my own style.

But actually it's bad enough.

( Sorry, i can't be perfect.)

" Now it's just too late...

And we can't go back...

I'm sorry i can't be perfect..."

( Sorry, i can't be perfect...)

" Crush" by David Archuleta

2009-06-25T09:00:00.000-07:00

Hmm...it's not considered as a new song anymore...
However, i think it's really a nice song...
Although it's too popular, it remains its feeling inside...
For me, i love this song very much...
I've been listening this song since it was released...
But never get bored...
Instead, love it every bit.
Don't know...i like this word...
" Crush"....^ ^

I hang up the phone tonight
Something happened for the first time
Deep insideIt was a rush, what a rush
Cause the possibilitythat you would ever feel the same way
About meIt’s just too much, just too much

Why do I keep running from the truth
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I just got to know

Do you ever think
When you’re all alone
All that we can be
Where this thing can go
Am I crazy or falling in love
Is it really just another crush

Do you catch a breath
When I look at you
Are you holding back
Like the way I do
Cause I’m tryin, tryin to walk away
But I know this crush aint goin away, goin away

Has it ever cross you mind
When were hangin, spending time girl,
Are we just friends
Is there more, is there more
See it’s a chance we’ve gotta take
Cause I believe that we can make this into
Something that will last, last forever, forever

Do you ever think
When you’re all alone
All that we can be
Where this thing can go
Am I crazy or falling in loveI
s it really just another crush

Do you catch a breath
When I look at you
Are you holding back
Like the way I do
Cause I’m tryin, tryin to walk away
But I know this crush aint goin away, goin away

Crying in your heart

2009-06-15T19:40:00.000-07:00

Depressed.

I've tried to cry.

In the school toilet...with no one inside...

But i failed.

I didn't know why i was trying to cry.

But, it was something in my heart.

Something made me feel really bad.

I just couldn't understand myself.

At the moment, i was feeling that something had to be removed from my heart.
Thus, i had to cry.

I didn't know what was the way.
I just thought i should cry.

But, i failed.

And it is still there.

Is it just my result in ujian pengesanan?..the first B since form 2...

No, it is something behind.

And i refuse to face it.

I'm crying in your heart...

( if there is me...)

Lost in paradise?

2009-06-15T19:18:00.000-07:00

Lost in paradise?......

Apparently, i lost in hell.

Being alone in the world of stress.

I tried to shout, i opened my mouth.....

But...

I couldn't make a sound!

I need help!....

Do you hear me?...

And i'm crying at the corner, praying to hit my target in the coming penilaian 3.
It's too important.

No.1

No other choices...

Or i'll be hanged.

I lost in hell...
Failed to escape...

I saw the exit, written there...
Password: No.1-3 in penilaian 3

I LOST IN HELL.

Dying...

I lost my direction

2009-06-15T18:37:00.000-07:00

Standing in the heavy rain, i lost my direction.

Felt like being ignored by everyone, felt like being discarded by everyone, felt like being cheated by everyone.

And by myself.

I AM LOSING MYSELF

And losing my direction.

How am i supposed to carry on?...

And where is my destination?...

Who'll be there?...

I AM CONFUSING

Left or right......???

I need somebody to take my hands and lead me.

I can't even find myself, though.

I lost my direction...

I lost the way to my heart...

I AM A STRAY.

Strive For The Best

2009-06-02T07:48:00.000-07:00

I'll be going to Batu Pahat.

I still did'nt pack my things yet. (Wondering how to put my lovely bear into the luggage...erm..maybe i should chop it into pieces?...)

( My bear is crying...without tears falling...^ ^)

Anyway, i'll still bring it to Batu Pahat. But definitely not in pieces....NONONONONO!
Maybe i should bring a larger bag?..(then ask someone else to take it...haha)

I can see my empty luggage from here. Maybe i should start packing now? ( Or i'll forget to bring my comb. T.T...Ya, almost everytime...)

Erm, just to inform all my friends, i'll be leaving! Don't miss me too much. But i'll miss you!
In these days, while i'm not here with you all, please take care of yourselves. ( The weather is changing badly..thus, drink more water!)

( Just take 5 minutes every night to miss me is enough..^ ^ I don't wish to see panda after coming back...although i love panda so much! Wakaka...xp)

( Must help me to check line in M.D opening...my line always not straight....Must help me to teach my junior...i'll get angry if she still blurring with chorale 1...Must help me to take care of my sax...just make sure that it's there safe and sound..haha...)

A lot of words to say....haiz...

Ei..." A Lot Of Words"...haha....(Pohnuan, don't am chiou...^ ^)

"So, i'll strive for the best. Jiayou, too! "

That's all.

I'll be back!!! ^ ^

如果我还清醒？

2009-05-31T01:26:00.000-07:00

手指已经不受我控制。

我开始漫无目的地敲打着键盘。

漫无目的
漫无目的
漫无目的
漫无目的
漫无目的…………

我想说些什么……

我真的想说些什么。

但整颗心被掏空。

空。

我只是漫无目的地敲打着键盘。

漫无目的
漫无目的
漫无目的
漫无目的
漫无目的…………

救我！

心空了

2009-05-31T01:21:00.000-07:00

不知道还剩下什么。

当我发现心中满满的都不再是我。

我

被掏空。

不知道还剩下什么。

我的心

空了。

The Truth

2009-05-29T06:19:00.000-07:00

The first time....

Don't know how to express my feeling now.

It's badly complicated.

( Or i still cannot face the truth?)

I thought i was the one to hold.

I thought i was the one to stop.

I thought i was the one to choose.

I thought i was the one to know.

I thought i was still having control of my life.

BUT

I made it wrong.

I thought i was scared of nothing.

I thought i was scared of if i had anything to be scared of.

But i was wrong.

I was scared of something.

Something that i unexpected. Something that made me different. Something that i couldn't firure out what it was. Something that i was not sure whether it exist.

But threre was something.

Finally discovered the truth.

I AM NOT AS BRAVE AS I THOUGHT.

Tagged by Ming Rong

2009-05-14T08:54:00.000-07:00

Directions : Once you've been tagged, you have to write a post with sixteen random things, habits or goals about you. At the end, choose five people to be tagged, listing their names and why you chose them. Don't forget to leave a comment (''You're tagged!'') and to read your blog, you can't tag the person who tagged you. Since you can't tag me, let me know when you've posted your blog, so I can see your weirdness.

I don't really know when you tagged me....

I've just found it out few days ago....

And i left comment there, but i think you did'nt see it...

Anyway...It's really an old post....

If you want to say "noob", give me 3 seconds...

To run away......

1. First and foremost, if be given a choice, i would like to write in chinese. No special reason, just as if i could write better. I'm very confident with my chinese...haha... Since in primary school, they called me "chinese queen". Undeniable, i love it! ( You may read somethings about me in chinese...please see the "About Me" near my photo there..) ^ ^ As a chinese, i'm so proud to say i can speak mandarin well. Not like some of them, can't even express something simple in mandarin. And they even not willing to try. At least try to improve...( All my friends: Aaron, Oon Keng......Please pull up your socks now!!!)

2. I wish to write this post very long. But now it's already 12.35am. And i can hardly open my eyes...Besides, i've to wake up early in the morning tomorrow to attend band practice.( Or i should say: this morning?) ..So, wish me hit my own taret everyone! =)

3. Firstly, let's talk about myself. I LOVE MYSELF. And i'll love myself forever. Unless there's someone who makes me feel that he/she is more important.Waiting for that day to come!......But, don't misunderstand that i do not love my family. I DO. But i know my mum would like me to love myself first before i can give my greatest love to her. Mum, i love you!...

4. I'm " outside cool inside hot" ( please translate into chinese... thanks...^ ^ ). But, deep inside me, i know my heart is the coolest. Sometimes, i just feel that nobody can know me better. Although i'm just beside them, i think our distance is ...erm, We are far apart....Thus, i need someone to melt it......i don't expect much, just a "hello"...perhaps?....

5. I love music! It's SO SO SO WONDERFUL! I need music in my all day life. Erm, or should i say, it's my basic need to live?...I love many types of music...I just can't make decision which type to put at the first place. I love Rock, R&B, Blues, Soul, Jazz and of course classical music. For me, i need different types of music at different times and with different mood. I just can't imagine how boring could my life be without music.

6. I LOVE SAXOPHONE! Haha, i'm proud to say i'm a band member in my school...A saxophonist...Really cool!...I loved sax the first moment i saw it. ( i can't remember the accurate date already...) Its sound is really wonderful! When i was given the chance to join the sax team, i was excited yet nervous. Finally, i made the biggest decision in my life to join the sax team. It has changed my whole life through!...Here, thanks to my seniors, Ming Rong and Swet Fern for teaching me so many things. And also my juniors, Annie and Ah Zheng who always make me laugh...xD

7. I love my band! CHKB......I joined band when i was in form 1. But, i was very unlucky as none of the form 1 members was given the chance to take part in the competition. Actually the places already full. And i was not really confident to be part of them. Anyway......^ ^ I didn't take part in the competition in 2007, but i was one of the pengiring to go along with them. Haha...It was a sweet memory! The second year, i was given the chance to be Penolong Pengurus Am ( thanks for choosing me..) And i finally took part in the competition as a clarinetist. The competition in 2008 taught us a lesson. Erm...^ ^ So, this year will be the first year for me to take part in the competition as a saxophonist. And i look forward. Jiayou! =)

8. I love debate, too. I joined the debate group when i was in form 2. Everything just went so fast! In a twinkling of an eye, i've already be choosen to be the group leader. It was unbelievable! ( For those who like to know further about my years in debate group, please refer to my older post...thanks ^ ^) I still remember, last year in KL, we had a whale of time. We had a lot of fun: acting super star in the hotel room, practising late at night in our cute pyjamas, complaining the taste of the expensive chicken chop......And i miss Shu Wen and Wen Fa, our ex-members who are really cute. How are you now?...

9. Friends are important to me. They are always on my side when i was happy, and also when i was sad. LOVE YOU ALL!.....Here, list down my friends' name." Poh Nuan, Bear (Voon Wei) , Han Min, Hui Shin, Poh Vien, Liang Hong, Peck Lian, Wei Choon, Yi Wen....." Those are the poor form 3 students to face the PMR this year...haha...And some more..." (My dear aunt, Min Lee), Ming Rong, Jiu Hung, Aaron, Andrew....." Those are facing the heavy homeworks in form 4...haha...

10. I have my dream. And i've planned for my future since i was in standard 6. Here it goes..... After my SPM, maybe i'll sit for the A Level. Then, the SAT. After that, the interview to get the chance to continue my study in Harvard University. Haha, maybe you think it's funny. ( It's definitely not easy to be achived. Instead, very hard!...) But, it's okay. It is my dream, and it is my future. So, i am the one who suppose to plan for it.

11. I wish to become a successful physicist in the future. And nuclear physic will be my first choice. I still remember, when i was in standard 6 or form 1, i read the book " Angels And Demons" by Dan Brown. After reading, i was strongly attrracted by the world of a physicist. It was amazing! I just hoped that i won't change my will after i learned physic more deeeply in form 4 next year. Must support me!....

12. I hate homework more than anything on earth. Sometimes, homework is so meaningless. And it can make me down all the day. As it is the most thing i hate, i won't describe it further.

13. I hate kerja kursus as well. I would rather sit for exam.
Anti-kerja kursus.....

14. I don't really know the way to communicate with others. Don't ever think that people from debate always express their feeling well. I don't like to talk to someone i hate. And i don't like to talk to someone who need me to explain again and again what i mean. But that's why sometimes i hate myself. Because sometimes i've to talk to someone i really hate but i can't show my temper. So i just keep on smiling. At that moment i think i'm useless. But as a student, this is what i'm ready to suffer. But someone who really knows me will know, I WON"T SURRENDER!

15. I like to write my own lyric. But of course in chinese. I wish that someday i can sing my own song with my own music and lyric. That's not that easy. But i'll try my best to achieve it before graduate from secondary school. ( At least must wait till i pass my higher grade exam first...) ^ ^

16. Also the MOST IMPORTANT!
I think this post is too long. And as i know, many people won't be interested in reading such a long post. But, please read lah...i've sacrificed my sleeping time to finish it. xp And if you've already skip the 1-15 before, you may return to the top and read it. Okay lah, seems that you're so interested in reading my post....I SHALL FORGIVE YOU ONCE!....Haha.....

Who to tag now???
Erm......

1. Poh Nuan who likes people call her flutist-----I know you'll angry if i didn't tag you...haha...

2. Han Min or i called her Memphis whose english very pro----Your posts always surprising..^ ^

3. Liang Hong who likes to read novels-----It's a chance for you to practise what you've learned...

4. Bear-----I sympathise your blog...really...it's almost dead T.T

5. Eng Woon-----Don't be so cruel lah...You said you want to end your blog's life...NO WAY!...

That's all...^ ^

Slow Me Down

2009-05-12T02:48:00.000-07:00

Things just don't get on the right way...

I was tired. And annoyed.

Band camp is coming soon. I, as the secretary, have to prepare all the paper work. ( Endless letter, changeable name list......) Furthermore, i won't attend the 02/06 to 07/06 band camp as i have to go Batu Pahat, Johor for the debate competition. ( Another difficult task....) So, i have to ask other to help me to take the attendance. ( Tze Zia, thanks...) Actually i hate this task. But, what can i do?

I was TIRED.

And ANNOYED.

The debate competition is coming nearer and nearer. And i knew it will make me really BUSY. Teachers took it very serious. And my team members, too. I was not the one who really care for it. But i was the leader. So......

Again......

I have to do everything just to make sure that we can beat other state debater. Although it was almost impossible. Let's look at the bright side. I have to trust in myself. And my team members. That was how it going to be! Try our best.....and WIN.

Moving in the fast speed......

I was TIRED.

And ANNOYED.

Anyway, thanks all my friends who always be on my side, especially those band members. LOVE YOU ALL!

I need you to slow me down......

It's Not A Sad Blog

2009-05-01T09:17:00.000-07:00

Jiu Hung asked me why always post sad things.

Erm......

A SAD BLOG

Erm......

So, i added a new song to my playlist.

"The Sweetest Love" by Robin Thicke.

Hope it'll make you smile all day long.

=)

If You Think He Is Cute...

2009-05-01T09:10:00.001-07:00

Kim Bum.

I Hate Gossip

2009-05-01T09:01:00.000-07:00

Gossip...

A group of fucking people talking of whatever they want to talk.

WHATEVER

Whether it's true...They DON'T CARE!

"You think it's funny?...Simply say anything and hurt others?...

PLEASE

I DON'T THINK SO.

You are such a fool."

JInglun's spirit

2009-04-20T07:54:00.000-07:00

He's my favourite singer, Wong Jing Lun黄靖伦.

I loved him the 1st moment i saw him. He was SO CUTE!

He was handsome, cute and his voice was super wonderful. But what really made him the most popular participant in "One Million Star 3" was his SPIRIT.

His SPIRIT......

He said, "天下无难事，只怕有心人。"

He said," 只要功夫深，铁杵磨成针。"

He said," 兵来将档，水来土掩。"

He said," 爸爸妈妈，你们又可以多看一集了!"

He said," 我不会让新加坡丢脸的!"

He said......................

His 21 marks...

In "Touch人心挑战赛", he sang a song named "眼泪成诗"by 孙燕姿.

It was......

PERFECT

"分手伤了谁

谁把它变美

我的眼泪写成了诗已无所谓

让你再回味

字不醉人人自醉

因为回忆总是美"

His singing was wonderful...

Last sentence.

"你的品味总是美"

How can it be so good? I was touched by the song when i was watching the show from the TV.

It made me...sad but cant cry...SO SO SO SAD until cant cry.

21 over 25..He suppose to be given 25, full mark.

For his perfect singing, his performance,

And......

His SPIRIT...

如果我的生命是一个悲剧

2009-04-20T07:35:00.000-07:00

我喜欢悲剧收场的故事
着了迷的喜欢
像依赖安眠药的喜欢
无法自拔
陷

也许是为了那一份悸动
那一份遗憾
因为在生活中已经冷得很习惯了
已经藏得很习惯了
所以需要点什么来解冻冰封的灵魂

冰封住的灵魂
冷

而痛

我喜欢写悲剧收场的故事
来自灵魂的喜欢
提起笔就会写的喜欢
无法自拔
陷

也许是心理不平衡吧
想找一扇窗
一个能释放寂寞的二氧化碳的出口
风不把它吹走
引起了寂寞的温室效应

寂寞的温室效应
不热

而冷

那
如果我的生命是一个悲剧

不要

我拒绝

它可以特别一点
但不是悲剧

不是

悲

剧

I cried

2009-04-17T08:52:00.000-07:00

I have just added a song to my playlist. A nice song.

Have you been touched by a song? In the midnight with loneliness and sadness? Have you cried for it? Uncontrolled?...... If your answer is no, i really sympathise you.

How to describe the feeling? Erm, speechless.

"It's amazing." I can only say that.

I've been strongly touched by the song "海阔天空" by Beyond. ( a cantonese song) The reason?....i still can't
figure out. I cried. With no reason.

Erm, maybe it's because of the lyric, the "Voyager Style" lyric. My blog, a voyager's blog need a song like this. Its lyric is really suitable to describe my feeling after experienced so many things. And i love it.

I love it.

"原谅我这一生不羁放纵爱自由
也会怕有一天会跌倒
背弃了理想
谁人都可以
哪会怕有一天只你共我"

I love it.

原谅我这一生不羁放纵爱自由？
原谅我这一生不羁放纵爱自由？
原谅我这一生不羁放纵爱自由？

Forgive me?

原谅我这一生不羁放纵爱自由

"Forgive me?" I whispered, with tears in my eyes.

未完成也不想完成的歌词

2009-04-16T10:03:00.000-07:00

未完成也不想完成的歌词，起于考试，也终于考试。

"在枯萎前颓废"

抓紧裙摆
我看着自己倒下来
在人群之外
我俨然开成一朵玫瑰的姿态

做好预备
我看着自己在枯萎
听见心在碎
我只是捂住耳朵拒绝去理会

有哪个谁能留住花的美
我看见世界崩塌前留着泪

………………………
(未完成〕

疯言疯语

2009-04-16T09:52:00.000-07:00

有时候我喜欢胡言乱语。
有时候我不知道自己在说什么。
有时候我不小心把别人的故事写成自己的心情。
有时候我无意中把自己的感情放进文章里。

我

疯

了

吗

？

所以，下面那篇"我恨我爱你"〔我可以这样翻译吗？〕，

看了就算了。

不要想太多。

因为我自己也不知道。

Penilaian 2 ( Hate that i love you)

2009-04-16T08:49:00.000-07:00

Raining...
(In my heart, too.)

I was sitting the exam--Pendidikan Sivik dan Kewarganegaraan.

3o minutes to go...
(But to forget you, 1000 years.)

Nothing to do except dreaming. But there was only you in my dream, always. (I miss you so...)
But i CAN'T. So i try to do something else, something that won't make me think about you.

I wrote on table and wall.

Sorry, i know it was bad. But what else can i do in the damn small and hot classroom...sitting in the corner...?

"What should i write? "

Your name appeared in my mind.

I CAN'T do that.

20 minutes to go...
(But to forget you, 1000 years)

Finally, i wrote something.

"VANDALISME" I wrote in on my table with a liquid paper.

I thought it's cool!

I thought...

(I thought i can forget you.
I thought...)

10 minutes to go.
(But to forget you, 1000 years)

It was still raining.
(In my heart, too)

It was time to pass up the answer sheet.

It ended.

(But how about my love?)

(Where is the ending?)

"Distance between us are getting longer. You know? Or you just don't mind it?

What i suppose to do?

To escape.

I don't think you know what i'm feeling about you. I won't let you know. Not because of scared to be rejected, but worry that our friendship will last at the same time.

STRANGER

I don't want to be a person like this. I don't want to be just a passer-by. At least, i'm your friend.

But, if you think that i love someone else, you're really STUPID. Don't you see my stupid expression when talking with you? Don't you see my smile just because of your words? Sometimes, i really wish that you can see me behind you. But you just act like nothing.

You're in front of me. Always.

Some people think i'm in love with the one who always beside me. FUNNY.
Maybe you're also one of them? Hopefully not.

Because i love you."

Stupid Day

2009-03-27T08:42:00.000-07:00

Today is really a super stupid day....

You don't mind to waste your time to know about the stupid things that have happened?...Don't complain after reading because the story is really STUPID.

Here the story began.

6.45am
The phone alarm was ringing. It was a nice song from Khalil Fong. (Not his latest song, began with violin, so you know which song was it?) It was getting lauder and lauder...until i couldn't ignore it by cheating myself that the sound came from my neighbour's phone.( I always do stupid things like this..) Thus, i "woke up" (but i thought i was totally blurring) to turn off the alarm. Then continued my dating with jinglun. ( in my sweet dream)

7am
In my dream, jinglun was really cute. ( he was cute in the real world, too) We had a whale of time in the cafe...He gave me his latest album..with his cute signature on it...Then i heard someone calling me.." Wen, wake up! You'll be late!" This sound was...erm..although jinglun sound was very..erm..lady..but this sound was really different. It sounded like... my mum???

7.30am
I was having breakfast on the car. The weather was cold...the song was nice...and my breakfast was delicious...Comfortable!...My eyes were closing, i could hear the calling from jinglun. "Here i come.." Again, i surrendered.

7.45am
Oh my god! The gate was still locked. Everyone just stood by idly. Chatting, playing handphone,
jogging, pat to-ing... Nobody called the ah pek to open the gate. Erm... I sat beside someone who was playing handphone( forget who already) because i hate to sit beside the sweet pat to-ing couples. Then, took out the name list. Started my duty......Erm, people were coming...but not many...Today's attendence might not be good. Haiz...

8.30am or...?
Started the outdoor practice. Blurring...... Dreaming......Sleeping...... Sorry, i really " beh tahan"...haha...

10am?
Started formation. Erm.. i awoke. Luckily i didn't make mistake. Wei Ji, sympathise you......

11am?
I was punished for wearing orange T-shirt on wednesday. Oh...3 rounds..."Ah Zheng, don't run too fast!..."

12.30pm
It was time for the song! But i gotta go......

12.50pm
Sejarah tuition...... The air-cond was really nice =) ......Someone was complaining:" Cikgu, sejuk lah." Hey! Never think that you can turn off the cute air-cond.Errrrrrrrrrr... " CIkgu, panas!" ......I won. Haha.. the air-cond was mine. Cikgu, you are super cute!

2.30pm
English tuition......Did an essay. Hu.....

4.30pm
Theory class......I didn't finish my homeworks. So, i had to finish it with super fast speed before the lesson started. Hurry up!

6pm
Vocal lesson......How to put in more feelings? Teacher, i really don't know......Sorry!...Okay lah, today's singing passed.

7pm
KB mall.... Met many people lu. Qing Jing and Chee Yang, Phey Wern and Alson, Yuan Hui and Kim Peng, Siong Yee, You Yi, Yan Shan and many many more. Crowded. Should i cut my hair?..... Quite long. Finally, i didn't go to cut. Because i saw the koko who always cut for me was choosing tilam with his girlfriend. Erm...next day lah...

1o.3opm
Connection problems...The stupid internet!

11pm
Finally, the internet service was connected. When i was exited to view blog, my dad came to kacau. " Hey, help me find something...." Then, i cried in my heart. My dad was very SLOW......Slow......Always serach for politic news...Haiz.....

1.15am
I am going to sleep. But i stil didn't make decision whether i should go to Tan Ao or Chin tuition tomorrow.

Bye bye everyone......

Stupid Ending!

Sad

2009-03-20T10:29:00.000-07:00

I feel sad.

Without any reason.

Maybe it is because of the weather?

That S3......

Erm......

Actually just simply wrote.

I just worry that some of you may misunderstand. Maybe you'll think that i'm not happy with this code or it must has something to do with band.

NO

I love Saxophone 3 this code.

Really appreciate it.

My sadness......

Just because of the weather, really.

S3

2009-03-20T10:08:00.000-07:00

S3

Smart 3?

Sexy 3?

Stupid 3?

Soft-hearted 3?

Sleepy 3?

" It is saxophone 3 lah." Some of you will say.

" No, it is SAD 3." I say.

Can the saxophone brings my sadness away?

Anyone answer me?

NO

迷路

2009-03-20T09:48:00.000-07:00

我迷路了。

站在十字路口，我突然失去思考的能力。

走着走着，走向一座废墟。

摇摆不定的灵魂

2009-03-20T09:28:00.000-07:00

我一直怀疑自己有没有灵魂，或者更好的说法，我的灵魂在不在我的身体里面。

航行者voyager

我总爱这么称呼自己。

在生命中孤傲地航行。这是我的使命，也是我存在的最大意义。

说了是孤傲，就没有必要低头，没有必要俯瞰那虚伪的世界。

但是我还是活在这世界的人啊。

我必须上学，我必须补习，我必须考试，我必须做任何我不喜欢做的事。

我必须呼吸。

因为我活着。

但是我的灵魂在抗议。它是航行者，孤傲的航行者!它不应该有束缚，不应该为了生存而追随别人的脚步。

我那摇摆不定的灵魂。

它憎恨平凡，却在平凡中得到自在；它憎恨喧哗，却在喧哗中听见属于自己的声音；它憎恨捆绑，却被某种莫名的感情拉扯。

它应该怎样？

它不知道。

于是它依然摇摆不定，依然在人潮拥挤中跌跌撞撞。

它已遍体鳞伤。

我那摇摆不定的灵魂。

在

喊

痛

被寂寞淹没

2009-03-20T09:01:00.000-07:00

这是大约一星期前的事了。

那几天，雨一直下。

我体内多愁善感的因子在蠢蠢欲动，眼眶中的眼泪维持着欲坠不坠的尴尬姿势，右手手指不安地敲打着车窗(这时候它需要握住一支笔)。

眼泪在拉扯。

它需要什么不让它掉下来……需要什么。（它在呼喊。而我只听到风的声音。)

然后，雨终于下了。

理智宣告失守，任感性的细胞覆盖我全身。

泪还是掉了。

我坐在车内，望向窗外那朦胧的一片。

这被雨困住的世界。

音乐适时播放着，它陪伴我的寂寞，却让我更寂寞。

脑海中一片空白，悲伤的歌曲冲击我的脑袋。

混乱的思绪。

我只想哭。

想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭想哭

终于，我发现……

我

被寂寞淹没了。

Debate Group 2008

2009-03-20T08:54:00.000-07:00

Sweet memories!

"I love you" ?

2009-03-14T07:37:00.000-07:00

Many of my friends are falling in love.

I, as a kepo girl, always like to ask about their story.

Every love story starts with the same words..."I love you"...

Some said that in message, some in msn conversation and some coward asked their friends to help... ( Luckily they didn't ask me to help ^^)

"I love you"... What is the power?...

It's a promise.

A promise to take care of whom you love.

To be on his/her side when he/she is down, to make him/her smile when he/she is sad, to advice him/her when he/she is confusing, to share his/her happiness when he/she is happy, to sing birthday song to him/her on his/her birthday, to take care of him/her when he/she is sick, to listen to his/her problems and try your best to solve them......

Like complicated?

Actually, when you are in love with someone, you will do anything just to make him/her smile.

Ya...ANYTHING...

The sweetest words in the world..." I love you"...

Or "wo ai ni"..."sarangheyo"..."aishteru"..."aku cinta padamu"......

With the same power.

You are in love?...

If you are stil studying, think deeply before you say "yes". You can have boyfriend/girlfriend, but please make sure that he/she is mature enough and no bad habits like ponteng and smoking. Don't simply say "yes" or you'll hurt yourself.

Are you ready for love?...

Ask yourself before you say "yes"...

I just don't want to see any of my friends get hurt. And i wish all the couples i know last long.

I'm stil single. So, how will my prince say these words to me? I prefer romantic ways like write a poem or sing/play a song. ( Dreaming...) Just kidding!

You? Your story?......

Surprise

2009-03-09T08:13:00.000-07:00

I won the english essay competition???......

First prize?......

What is happening now? @.@

I beat other english pro with my stupid essay.

It is funny.

I stil remember, i was blurring when writing the essay. The first thing came to my mind is the english lyric. So, i wrote it in my essay...Beginning...

<> ......erm, quite okay.

We had to entitle it ourselves.

So i started to write......

" Wherever you go, whatever you do, i'll be right here waiting for you. Whatever it takes, or how my heart breaks, i'll be right here waiting for you." <> by Richard Marx.

Then, i wrote something like " i learned to play this song with a guitar...i faced a lot of problems..i got inspiration from my teacher...then i came through the problems...then after few years i passed my grade five examination with flying colours..."

And this stupid essay happened to be the champion...( i would like to say like that)

In the real world, i am learning guitar, but only grade...?( Guess yourself lah..haha..) My teacher is Lee, not Khalil in my essay. I can play the song, but cannot play well. I want to be a physicist, not a famous guitar player as i wrote in my essay.

This proves that the <> was a unreal story. But it won the teachers' heart.

Trust me. I was just am kong.

Anyway, i was happy for winning the competition. At least i didn't let my english teacher teacher down. She is a very good teacher.

By the way, i also won the Chinese essay competition. But this was expected. ( Haha..)